


songbirds singing before the sun has fully risen

by feralphoenix



Series: how they felt after the flood [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Codependency, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Queerplatonic Relationships, Steven Universe AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-06
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2018-06-06 15:43:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6760006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feralphoenix/pseuds/feralphoenix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>You’re paying so much attention to your footing, and the crash of the waves is so blissfully loud, that you don’t realize you’ve got company until a young voice from behind you says “Yo!”</i>
</p><p>While the other gems deal with their own crises, Frisk finds relief from their own responsibilities in a new friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	songbirds singing before the sun has fully risen

**Author's Note:**

> _(normal for the spider is chaos for the fly_ \- bright green budding trees against a [backdrop](http://marchenwings.tumblr.com/post/140064764359/) of heavy storm clouds)

In the morning when you wake up, Chara can’t get out of bed.

Their eyes are open, they’re definitely awake—and it’s not like sleeping is really something that either of you _has_ to do anyway. They don’t respond when you say their name, and they don’t push you off when you shake them. You try to get them to sit up, and all they do is slump back down into the pillows. When you lift their arm to get a good look at their hand—they don’t resist at all, it’s horrifying—you can’t see any cracks in their gem, so at least they’re _physically_ all right.

They have days like this, from time to time. Your oldest memories of them, actually, are mostly of them being like this—or having big messy tantrums and breakdowns, loud and violent and terrifying. They’ve gotten better, or mostly, but it still happens. You don’t know what to do, not even after ten whole years of living with the others. When Chara’s throwing a fit, you can hold them until they calm down, but when they get like _this…_

If Asriel were still here, he would know what to do.

The thought fills you with despair: You’ve never even _met_ Asriel, he was already gone long before you were made, so you can’t even use his behavior as a model for how to interact with Chara when they’re like this. What little you’ve heard of him from them doesn’t help you at all. You can’t be a crybaby or mean or a brat. None of those things feel like they’d help Chara anyways.

No matter how hard you try, all you can be is yourself.

You squirm up close to Chara’s chest, trying to make yourself as vulnerable and unthreatening as you can. You kiss their cheeks lightly, their forehead; you roll over and kiss their hands too—their knuckles, their bare palm, the tear-shaped heliotrope that’s the core of their self. They don’t react.

“Let’s fuse,” you say, quiet. “Let’s be Willemite for a while. Even just for a little tiny bit. C’mon, Chara. It’d make you feel better…”

They roll away from you and curl up tight, left hand tucked to their chest where you can’t get at it.

You huddle up to their back, slinging your arms around their middle, but they don’t respond at all. You sigh. It’s time to admit defeat.

Leaving them alone is—it’s awful, it goes against the grain of all you are, but you have to if you want to get help, so you run to the temple door and leap the transporter pad to get to the living room.

Alphys is sitting at the counter with her screen up, with Undyne on the other side reading whatever it says upside-down. Asgore is sitting on the sofa, reading a human newspaper. You can’t see Toriel, Sans, or Papyrus anywhere.

“O-oh!” Alphys says, looking up. “G-good morning, Frisk.” Her anxious smile drops away as soon as she sees your face. “What’s wrong?”

“Chara,” is all you can get out. Your face crumples a little. You want to reach up and pinch the bridge of your nose, stop yourself from crying, but that would give away to the other gems that you’re about to.

“Ah jeez,” Undyne says, pulling a face. “One of those days again, huh?” When you nod, she smiles, lopsided. “Don’t worry about it, punk. It happens.”

“I will look after Chara,” Asgore announces, getting to his feet. “You ought to stay with Undyne and Alphys, for the time being.”

You sigh, but nod to show him that you’re willing to obey. He pats your shoulder once, very gentle, before he circles the transporter and walks through the door to your room.

To prevent yourself from going right in after him, you walk over to the kitchen counter and pull yourself up on the stool next to Alphys. She gives you another nervous smile, which falters when you can’t really find it in yourself to return it. Undyne reaches across the table and pats your shoulder.

“Where’s Toriel?” you ask, slumping down on the counter, face rested on your crossed arms.

“She and Pyrite are off on a mission, squirt,” Undyne says, which is about what you expected, except…

“Sans and Papyrus already fused?” you ask. “Is it a dangerous mission? Will they be okay on their own?”

“T-they’ll be alright,” Alphys reassures you. “P-Pyrite is just an, um, just an extra p-prec-c—a safety measure.”

She’s stuttering a lot, which means she’s nervous, which means chances are high she’s lying to make you feel better. You frown. She cringes a little.

“So, you remember the last time we were all out and left you and Chara home alone, right?” Undyne says. You nod. “We ran into a couple gem mutants—got most of ‘em and bubbled ‘em safe and sound, but there’s one that got away. Toriel really didn’t like the idea of letting it just roam around and maybe letting it hurt somebody or get hurt itself, so she and Pyrite went to go check the last place we saw it. As for us, Alphy’s tracking the other temples and things to see where else it might’ve got to. Me and Asgore are hanging around in case we get anything.”

“L-listen, Frisk,” Alphys says, obviously trying very hard to sound calm. “T-Toriel is very, very powerful. And Pyrite is… w-well, he’s not a very _stable_ fusion, b-but he’s the most stable out of everyone w-who’s combat r-ready. E-even if something happens, she’ll have P-Papyrus’ shield and Sans’ speed and c-cannons. They’ll be able to escape, even if they can’t d-defeat the mutant.”

If Asriel were still here, there would be another stable, powerful fusion to accompany her. If Asriel were still here, Chara wouldn’t be in this condition in the first place. You sink lower in your seat.

The temple door closes, then, and you sit back up so quickly your skull seems to rattle, whipping around.

Asgore carries Chara cradled in his arms, stroking their back with a large hand. They lie limp against his chest, hands draped loosely on his shoulders, eyes open but unseeing.

“Yikes,” Undyne mutters under her breath. “This’s a bad one.”

You glance over your shoulder at her, unsure. Her eyebrows are drawn low over her eye and her gem.

“Frisk,” Alphys says carefully, setting one hand on your shoulder. “None of us are g-going to be going anywhere today, not since we know that Chara’s not d-doing okay. Thank you for telling us s-so that we know to stay with them. Y-you’re doing a really good job.”

“I’m supposed to be helping them,” you reply, soft.

“Kiddo,” Undyne says, immediate. “You _are_ helping them. You’re helping them tons, it’s just hard to see when you’re close like this.”

“I don’t know,” you tell her.

“Frisk,” Asgore says over Chara’s shoulder. You look up. His gaze is kind and, you think, a little _too_ understanding to be entirely comfortable. “Perhaps you had best take a brief walk outside. I can see that you are upset, and you must care for yourself first in order to care for the rest of us.”

It _sounds_ wise and correct, even if you don’t think that that really applies to you. Both Alphys and Undyne are nodding, too.

“Okay,” you say. “I’ll go down by the beach for a little. But I want to be with Chara, so… I’ll be home soon.”

“That is very good,” Asgore says. He smiles, and begins to walk about the house in slow steps, rocking Chara with every pace. “Be good, won’t you?”

You nod to him and leave.

 

 

The rocks are a little dangerous to play on given how unreliable your ability to heal is, but they remind you of when you lived back at the kindergarten—back when you’d first emerged and didn’t know anything about the world, just that you were Calcite and you were lonely. You spent a lot of time playing around the deadened earth there, and even though it’s been years, your feet find their old lightness again quickly as you jump from jagged boulder to jagged boulder.

You’re paying so much attention to your footing, and the crash of the waves is so blissfully loud, that you don’t realize you’ve got company until a young voice from behind you says “Yo!”

It scares you so much that you jump, miss your landing, slip, and fall gracefully on your butt in the sand. Blushing straight to the ears, you get to your feet quickly and dust off your behind.

“That was really cool, man!” says the interloper. It’s one of the monsters who lives in Beach City—a kid, which you can tell by their striped shirt. They’re reptilian, sort of like Alphys, except that they haven’t got a gem on them anywhere; just gawky legs and a tail and a row of spikes up their spine and a big friendly smile. They haven’t got arms, you notice belatedly. “I mean, like, except for the part where you fell and all. But up until then it was rad! I wouldn’t be able to do anything like that, haha, I like… faceplant whenever I try to run even.”

You giggle a little and scratch your head. “You really think so?”

“’Course I do, dude!” says the monster, grinning hugely. “I’m MK. What’s your name?”

“Um—I’m Frisk,” you answer, suddenly shy.

“That’s a nice name!” MK chirps. “I’d shake your hand now, but uh, I haven’t got any to shake with.”

You grin. “That’s okay.”

MK squints. “Yo…”

“Um… what is it?”

“That thing on your chest…” they say. You glance down at your gem, then look back up at them. “Are you… one of the Crystal Gems???”

“Sorta,” you answer, sheepish.

 _“Whoa,”_ MK says, starry-eyed.

“Just sorta though,” you go on quickly. “I’m not allowed to go on missions or anything. I’ve never fought monsters and stuff like the others. I’m still too young, I guess. I’m not any good at using my powers. I’m just sort of… here. I’m actually pretty useless, I guess.”

“Dude, that’s okay,” MK tells you.

“Huh?” you say.

“You’re still learning! You’re just a kid, like me! So that’s _normal,”_ they say, proud. “My parents always tell my sister that when she gets mad at me for not knowing stuff, so I know it’s true.”

“You have a _family?”_ you ask, unable to hide your fascination. “Like… people who you live with because you have the same genes and stuff?”

“We have different jeans,” MK replies sagely. “But yeah, I have parents and a big sister. Isn’t that normal?”

“Not to me,” you tell them. “I’ve never met any of the other gems that came from the same kindergarten as me. And every member of the Crystal Gems is a completely different kind of gem. We live together because we all want to protect the Earth, that’s all.”

 _“Cool,”_ says MK.

“I think being able to know the people you’re related to is a lot cooler,” you tell them. “What’s it like?”

“I dunno,” MK says. They sit down in the sand, maybe tired of standing up. You sit down next to them, resting your chin on your knees as you listen. “We kinda annoy the heck out of each other most of the time? My parents make me and my sister do chores, and she always calls me names. I call her names too! But they like… make sure I have food and a house and make me do my homework and whatever, so I guess it’s not all bad.”

“That sounds weird, but also nice,” you tell them. “And… it’s _sort_ of like the Crystal Gems, a little bit. Toriel and Asgore are always telling me to be good and listen to rules, and Sans is always making silly jokes that get annoying after a while, and Papyrus is always blowing up the kitchen trying to make human food, and Undyne and Alphys make a big deal over you Earthlings’ cartoons, and Chara’s… well, they’re Chara.” You shrug. “But they take care of me and teach me things too.”

“That is sort of like a family,” MK muses. “But, yo—you, like… _know_ Undyne?”

“Yeah,” you tell them, grinning.

“Lucky!!” they complain. “She’s so totally awesome! One time when I was little one of the big creepy mutant things you guys are always fighting came and broke the playground, and then Undyne showed up and beat it up. She smashed a hole in the school! She’s a real hero!! I keep trying to come up here and watch her fight, but my parents always get mad at me ‘cause it’s dangerous or whatever. Actually, that’s, uh… kinda why I was here today too. Don’t tell on me.”

You mime zipping your lips, and they laugh.

“Undyne _is_ cool,” you say, grinning. “But she’s also a total nerd, and she’s really nice too. I could introduce you sometime if you want.”

MK’s eyes bug out a little. “Dude,” they say. _“Dude._ I gotta like… gird my loins for that. And like… make sure I’m all ready and stuff. But I would _love_ that. That’s so nice? You’re a cool person, Frisk.”

You _really_ blush this time. “Really…?”

“Definitely totally really,” MK says, and grins. “I got a question, though.”

“Sure,” you say, stretching your legs out in front of you. “What is it?”

“How do you not know anybody who went to the same kindergarten as you?” they ask.

Their phrasing’s a little weird, but you guess you can’t ask them to understand gem stuff if you’re the first gem you’ve ever talked to. “Uhh… I don’t know how it works with Earthlings, but I came out of my hole late, so—”

“Frisk!” a distant voice calls. “Frisk, are you there? You have taken quite a long time…”

You get to your feet guiltily. “That’s Asgore,” you explain. “I’ve got to go.”

 _“The_ Asgore?” MK asks, voice gone breathy in awe. “But he’s like… one of the leaders of the Crystal Gems!”

“Yeah, he’s in charge,” you say. “I told him I’d only take a walk for a little while. I’m sorry. I’ll explain some other time.”

“Some other time?” MK gets to their feet too, bouncing in place a bit. “Yo, does that mean I’m allowed to come back?”

“Sure,” you say. “As long as nothing’s attacking the beach, it shouldn’t be bad for anybody from Beach City to come here. This is your town too and all.” At least, you’re pretty sure it’s okay. It’s not like anybody’s ever made a big KEEP OUT fence or sign or anything, and you know Toriel puts those up at some sites when she’s worried about humans and monsters sticking their noses where they don’t belong.

 _“Cool,”_ MK breathes. “I better get going, then—I don’t want you to get in trouble just ‘cause of me. I’ll see you later, dude!”

And they run off. Just as they told you earlier, they stumble and nearly fall facefirst into the sand a few times. You watch their back get smaller for a few moments, and only then do you run back towards the temple yourself.

 

 

Hanging out with MK on the beach becomes a common thing, when somebody else is looking after Chara and you’re left to your own devices.

You don’t really tell anybody else, because come to think of it, you don’t really see them interacting with the people of Beach City all that much. Nobody’s ever said that you _can’t,_ but you don’t really want to risk anyone telling you that you’re not allowed to see MK anymore.

Thankfully, it’s easy to sneak out. Not even Alphys has been able to track down the mutant gem yet, so half the team or more is always out looking for it, and Chara’s bad day turns into a bad week, meaning that they’re usually attached to the other gems instead of to you.

Avoiding them makes you feel a little bad, honestly. It hurts your feelings that they won’t rely on you, and you know that they need you but you don’t know how to help them, and it would drive you pretty crazy if you didn’t have MK to distract you from how heavy things can get. But it’s only for a little while each day, so… that means it’s okay, right? MK has to go to a thing they call “school” most of the week, and even on weekends, they can only come to play with you for a little while. You tell the other Crystal Gems that you’ve gotten to like practicing outside where there’s space, and they just tell you to be careful and not break anything, and leave you to your own devices unless you really need their tutoring.

And you _do_ practice, so it’s not like you’re lying. MK is a good audience—they don’t get impatient or patronizing or pitying when you’re having trouble getting your weapons to appear, and they’re impressed with your dance steps all the time, and don’t seem to care that you fall down a lot. It must help that they do that too.

“Don’t worry about it, dude,” they tell you one afternoon as you collapse in the sand, groaning, having failed to summon your ribbons for the fifth time today. “If it’s anything as hard to learn as monster magic is, it’s really cool that you’re even still trying at all. I can’t control my magic yet even a little tiny bit.”

“It _is_ hard,” you complain, dragging your arms back and forth through the sand to make a beach angel. “I wish that one of the others could tell me how to do it, but they’re always all just like, you have to figure it out your _own_ way. Every time I ask them to explain how _they_ do it, it’s always totally different from each other.”

“That sucks,” MK says.

“It does!” You roll over and stretch out. “If I could just summon my weapon, then they could bring me on missions on days when Chara’s doing okay. I have to watch them when they’re not, which is a lot of the time, but I want to _help.”_

“Sounds like you still are helping in your own way, dude,” MK tells you. “But I get what you mean. That sounds like it sucks, yo.”

“Bleah,” you say. “I just wish I had a chance to really prove myself to everybody soon. I don’t really like just sitting around here, you know?”

“Frisk?” MK says, sounding uncertain.

“What?” you ask, staring up at them.

“Dude,” they say, “are there any Crystal Gems that are like… really really big monsters?”

“Toriel and Asgore look like Earth monsters, and they’re pretty big,” you answer, nonplussed.

“Bigger,” they say firmly.

“No,” you tell them. “How come?”

“Then what’s _that_ thing?” they ask, tilting their head at something behind you.

A chill creeps up your back. You get up on your knees and then your feet, and you turn.

There is _definitely_ a gem mutant rising up out of the ocean behind you. It’s huge, at least as tall as the house, and it has a long sinuous segmented body—something like half sea snake and half centipede. There’s a gem on its neck, and it has a long triangular maw filled with really _really_ big teeth.

“Soon,” you say weakly. “I said I wanted a chance to prove myself _soon!_ I didn’t mean _right this minute!”_

“Oh, man,” MK says. “What do we do?!”

“You’ve got to run and make it back to the temple,” you tell them. “Somebody will be there, and you’ve got to tell them that the gem mutant they’re looking for is here outside and I’m holding it off! Then they’ll come help!”

“Dude, you’re _what?”_

“There’s no time!” you yell, and take off running for the rocks to get a better vantage point. The creature’s head turns and follows you as you go, and its long body trails after it. Good—this should at least get it away from MK. If you get too hurt, you’ll just lose your physical form for a while, but you remember Toriel once told you that monsters and humans can’t recover from damage as quickly as gems like you.

 _Please,_ you think, holding your hands to your gem. _Please, please, please work._

And the same way it did a while ago when you had to hold Chara back—you’re able to grasp the handle of your ribbon, pulling it cleanly from your gem all in one stroke.

You reach back and twirl with your whole right arm, flinging your upper body forward as you launch your ribbon towards the creature like a whip. It wraps around the face and—you guess its torso?—and seals, binding to itself wherever it crosses its own length, holding the creature still. It snarls and pulls against your grasp; your feet slide, and your arms shake as you try to reel it back and _keep_ it held still.

“Woohoo, go Frisk!!” an all-too-familiar voice yells from behind you. “I knew you got this!”

“I said _go!”_ you yell at MK, not even daring to turn and look. “I’m not heavy enough to hold this thing forever!”

“Dude, what are you talking about?” MK calls back. “You’ve got it! All you gotta do now is, like, _get_ it!”

“I _can’t!”_ you shout, voice straining. You hardly ever have to be this loud.

“Huh?”

“I don’t know _how!”_

The mutant gem lurches, dragging you off the rocks and into the surf. Your clothes rip at the knees, followed by your skin, but you don’t let go of the handle of your ribbons: You dig your feet into the sand and force yourself up slowly, trying to haul the creature back down.

“Hey!” MK yells, from further away now. Against your better instincts, you look. They’re kicking rocks at the beast as you grapple to keep it bound. “Leave them alone!”

The creature strains against your constricting ribbons to get at them. You squeeze your eyes shut and brace your body with all the strength you have.

Your ribbons snap.

The recoil sends you tumbling down into the sand. Too winded to get to your feet, you push yourself up as best you can: The gem mutant has turned on MK completely now, advancing on them as they take one uncertain step backwards, then another.

 _“Don’t hurt them!”_ you scream, loud as you can—helpless, you hold a hand out as if that will stop it—

And a sudden impact slams the creature into the beach, sending sand and foam flying up around it in great clouds.

You barely have time to blink: The projectiles—you can see them for what they are now, small thin blades—continue to pelt the creature at great speed and with incredible force, one after another, utterly relentless and without a shred of mercy. It shrieks: Its body dissolves with a _poof_ of soft dust, and the gem that had been in its neck drops towards the ground.

Before it can hit the beach, it’s caught deftly in a familiar pair of hands, enclosed in a bubble, and dismissed—sent back to the heart of the temple, where all the others go.

Chara whirls and runs straight for you as you get gingerly to your feet. They hover around you with shaky hands, touching lightly at your shoulders, your face, your hands.

“Frisk, you—” they begin, and then shake their head. They’re paler than you’ve ever seen them before. “Are you—no, show me your gem—”

You let them examine your chest, resting your own hands on their trembling shoulders. “I’m okay,” you tell them. “You came just in time. Thank you.”

They close their eyes and exhale. Tears you hadn’t noticed gathering in their eyes run down their face. They frame your face roughly with their hands and lean in to press their forehead to yours.

“Thank the stars,” they say, low, indistinct. “Thank goodness you’re alright.”

Chara is still shaking. They can’t seem to let you go or stop touching you, like they have to have the constant reminder that you’re alive, that you’re whole. Hesitant, you put your arms around them and reel them in close. Maybe your solidity will be able to lull their shivers soon.

 _“Yo,”_ MK whispers reverently. Both of you turn, Chara still refusing to let you go.

Your friend is covered in sand, but they seem none the worse for wear: To the contrary, they’re staring at the both of you with stars in their eyes, all but vibrating in place with excitement.

“That was _so cool!”_ they burst out. “When you just…! And the knife things! You popped that big dude like a _balloon!_ Where’d you send it? What was with the bubble? You guys were _amazing!!”_

Chara’s whole face goes pink, and they scowl.

“Frisk, who is this,” they say, voice wavering only a little.

You clear your throat. “Chara, this is my friend MK,” you say. “MK, this is Chara. They’re my… they’re a Crystal Gem just like me.”

 _“Awesome!”_ MK exults.

“Hmm,” Chara replies, brow lowered, cheek puffed out.

You hug Chara a little tighter and laugh nervously.


End file.
